Stone: J. Crew earrings


I don’t wear a lot of big, sparkly jewelry, perhaps because my social life consists mainly of dinners with friends, not society galas. But something about these earrings at J. Crew called to me—maybe the irregularity of the shape and the neutral colors (they also come in a version with sherbet-colored stones). Or maybe I was influenced by this recent New York Times Style Magazine piece about the renowned costume jewelry designer Kenneth Jay Lane.


I also don’t buy a lot of jewelry from chain stores as a rule—I tend to gravitate toward smaller brands and independent artists because the designs tend to be more creative and for the “shop small” ethos. In fact, I’ve bought pieces at J. Crew before, only to return them a few days later after realizing that they weren’t really me. However, I’ve already worn these several times in just a couple weeks. It’s the holidays, of course—and even if I’m just having dinner with family at home, it’s fun to do it up right. After all, I’m someone who used to tell my styling clients that you can get away with wearing a ball gown to a breakfast meeting with the right attitude. In fact, maybe I should do that some time in 2017—with a jacket thrown over it. And these earrings.

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Stone: Buying Jewelry as a Gift

Although I don’t do it often, I’m pretty good at buying jewelry for people. I have helped two friends pick out engagement rings (which were big hits) and have advised numerous others on holiday and birthday gifts. But I do understand that figuring out what someone would like is a proposition that fills many with dread–especially if a significant amount of cash is at stake.

So now that we’re going into the holiday season, I decide to write this service-oriented post based on one simple tip: Figure out what they like beforehand. Then you can figure out the best store to go to (more on that below) and isolate the kind of pieces your giftee will like. By doing this prep work, you narrow down your choices before you even get into the store.

But how do you know what they like? Easy. Look at the type of jewelry they wear. Not that they own, but what they actually wear.

Does he/she wear:

  • Beads, metal, pearls, gems, natural materials (wood, bone, horn, leather), or other materials (Bakelite, rubber, plastics)?
  • Silver or gold? (Are they allergic to any metals?)
  • Big, bold designs (e.g., chunky necklaces, long earrings) or smaller, more traditional pieces (e.g., stud earrings, simple rings, small pendant necklaces)?
  • Earrings, necklaces, bracelets, or rings? Or all of the above?
  • If they prefer non-metallic jewelry, what colors do they favor? Neutrals (brown, black, white) or brighter colors (red, purple, blue)?
  • Unusual and striking designs or more traditional designs, such as a locket or a small pendant or religious symbol?
  • Long necklaces or chokers?
  • Intricate or ethnic designs (like the lacy ornate designs of Indian jewelry) or simple ones (hoop earrings or plain bangles)?

Don’t buy something like this for someone who only wears simple jewelry.

  •  If they like gems or minerals, do they like pieces with one big gem or lots of little ones?
  • What color gems or rocks? Clear/white (diamonds, clear crystals), red (ruby, garnet), blue (turquoise), green (peridot, emerald), black (hematite), etc.

If you’re not sure of your choice even after that, buy jewelry someplace that takes returns (department stores and chain stores). However, keep in mind that the designs tend to be either very trendy or traditional at these places. If your giftee prefers more unusual and unique jewelry, you will likely have more luck at specialty boutiques and holiday fairs where jewelry designers show and sell their work—but those sellers may only offer store credit or no returns at all. Ask about the return and exchange policy. And of course you can always take a fashionable friend who knows about these things. Finally, knowing the answers to the above questions can make it easier for a salesperson to help you out.

 It’s the thought that counts—and if you take some time to think about your giftee’s style and preferences, it will show in your gift, and they will appreciate it. Good luck!

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Thoughts on New England, autumn, and Coriander by D.S. & Durga

img_4618I’ve been on the East Coast all week. The weather has not been ideal, but it’s still a treat to experience fall in New England. I took a train between New York and Boston and watched the water and the little towns go by. I went to visit a friend who lives in Dartmouth, Massachusetts, in the most adorable small house with a wood stove, surrounded my nearly an acre of land with a tiny cemetery on it. As always, I admired the flat salt marshes of the southern shore that seem to merge into the ocean, the simple American colonial homes that look so cozy, and the bright red cranberry bogs that flash by as I drove the back roads.


Yesterday I went to the Daniel Webster Wildlife Refuge in Marshfield, where my brother and his family live, and tramped around fields and forests in windy, overcast weather for a good hour and a half without seeing another soul. I was reminded again that I would really love a perfume that mimicked the ineffable and bittersweet scent of decomposing leaves in the autumn forest—it would be like capturing time in a bottle. (According to suggestions on the Internet, a few fragrances do come close.)img_4625

I did pick up a new perfume when I was in New York. I stopped by Love Adorned in Nolita, and after inquiring about the price of a vintage gold ring in the shape of a lizard (which turned out to be, um, beyond my price range), I turned my attention to the much more affordable fragrances. I’d sniffed several in the Brooklyn-based D.S. & Durga line before, but while they were all complex and interesting, none really grabbed me. And none were really grabbing me in the store either. It was only after walking around the neighborhood a little more and repeatedly sniffing the Coriander on my wrist that it won me over. It’s definitely a green scent, which I don’t usually care for, but also spicy, deep, and mysterious–much like the nature of autumn. I’ll probably be wearing this exclusively for the rest of the year.

img_4633Hope you are able to take the time to breathe in the scents of autumn this year.

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I’m still here!

Just very busy as I recently started a graduate program. I haven’t bought any new scents lately, but on a recent trip to Lake Tahoe and the Napa Valley in California, I inhaled air that was as heady as perfume. In Lake Tahoe, the air smelled of sun and pine, truly amazing. Unfortunately I seemed to be a little allergic to the pine (or something else), as I was sneezing a lot! In Napa (actually the Alexander Valley), grass and grapevines mixed with eucalyptus for an unforgettable scent. Of course someone has already made a perfume inspired by the area. I’ll have to try it.

I was inspired to post by this New York Times article about Louis Vuitton and Dior establishing perfumeries in Grasse, the center of the perfume industry. I’ve always thought of contemporary designer perfumes as generic scents designed to give customers at the lower end of the income spectrum something to buy. Sounds like they’re starting to put some real effort into them–perhaps with an attendant rise in price. We shall see.

Here are some pictures from my trip–you’ll have to imagine the scents of the fields, vineyards, and mountains.

Screen Shot 2016-08-09 at 2.52.35 PMScreen Shot 2016-08-09 at 2.52.08 PMScreen Shot 2016-08-09 at 2.51.38 PM


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Scent | Vacation Fragrance & Oahu by Nomaterra


After too many incidents where my perfume bottle leaked all over my stuff, I learned not to bring them with me on flights. For years a little solid compact of Lush’s Karma was my go-to vacation scent. I love it, but it’s nice to consider other options.

As a personal stylist, I used to caution my clients against buying new clothes for vacation, or bringing outfits they wouldn’t normally wear. One, our ideas about what the locals are wearing is usually off, and two, it can be very artificial. Think of tourists with awkwardly wrapped scarves (or worse, berets) in Paris.

Perfume, though, is different. Why shouldn’t you escape into a different persona with a different scent? Or tailor your fragrance to the surroundings? Some things just don’t translate on vacation. Just as you might not order your favorite dry martini in Mexico, a very heavy oriental scent might also be a bit jarring in tropical surroundings.


I just made reservations to go to Vieques, an island off the coast of Puerto Rico, for my spring getaway. It’s the perfect time for me to break out Oahu by Nomaterra, which I picked up at the Renegade Holiday Craft Fair late last year and put aside while I figured out where to wear it. I wasn’t really sure why I bought it at the time, but I liked the idea of scents inspired by cities, and none of the other ones were really clicking for me. Normally I don’t wear such tropical scents, even though I love the smell of jasmine and other flowers from the region. Now I can see that it’s a perfect, light, beachy choice for an island vacation. And the roll-on bottle makes it less likely it will leak en route. Maybe I’ll start wearing it at home to get me in the mood for my travel adventure.

The frangipani note also reminds me of a bottle of perfume oil I bought somewhere in Tucson on a road trip decades ago, with “frangipani” handwritten in a girly script on a sticker affixed to the vial. I’ve never smelled anything like it since—it was so arresting that people regularly remarked on it. This isn’t quite it, but it’s the closest anything has ever gotten. But that’s another story.

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Scent | Samphire by Laboratory Perfumes

I noticed a couple months ago that Anthropologie has really expanded its in-store perfume selection–and taken it a little more upscale. Of course I had to sniff my way through the new offerings. Meet my newest obsession:



Samphire is like a more intense version of the feeling I get from wearing Maderas. I love Maderas, but it does have more of a warm-weather feel to it. As the icy cold of winter started to set in, I was feeling the need for something just as exotic, but a little stronger. And here it is.

Samphire is an excellent illustration of the weird alchemy of perfume.  According to Google,  Samphire is “a European plant of the parsley family that grows on rocks and cliffs by the sea,” suggesting a marine fragrance. Anthropologie put it in the “woodsy” category. I’d categorize it as spicy, with a sharp, almost biting herbal edge at the top. Looking into its components, citrus and aromatics play a large part in the top and middle notes, with oak moss and white amber at the base.

Maybe it does smell like the English seashore (Laboratory Perfumes are from the UK and just now are available in the U.S.)–I’ve never been there. It does, however, hint at someplace fresh and wild. I know I really love a perfume when I wear it to bed.

The other Laboratory fragrances are just as arresting. I liked the top notes of Gorse and Amber, but did not care for its dry-down on my skin. But maybe one of them will work for you.

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Scent | Scents of Lisbon


Beautiful Lisbon.

I spent a week in Lisbon, Portugal, over Thanksgiving week. (Highly recommended, by the way–Lisbon is beautiful, laid-back, delicious, and affordable.) While I was there I thought about and tried to pay attention to the way that smells affect our experiences and memories. In an article about museum curators going through boxes of Andy Warhol’s stuff (I can’t remember what publication this was, so no link), I read that the artist used to consciously use perfume as a marker of experiences–he would wear a scent for a limited amount of time and then never again, so that that fragrance would be forever associated with that period in his life.

I tried to do this in Lisbon. When I arrived, I noted that the city had the particular smell peculiar to old European cities, which I suppose comes from old buildings and maybe even air that has been breathed and re-breathed by billions of people living in close proximity over the last thousand years or so. I only notice it upon arrival, and then it goes unnoticed. It sits at the mouth of the Tagus River, which looks like the ocean, but it’s not salty–so no saltwater tang to the air.

There was a perfume shop I made a point of visiting, Perfumaria Alceste. It’s a tiny, dim little shop in the middle of the historical area, run by a frumpy older lady with beauty-salon hair who speaks English but is otherwise spectactularly uninterested in sales or customer service. The perfumes are all in glass bottles with handwritten labels and stoppered with cork. I stood there and sniffed for several minutes while she just stared into space. I asked if she ever mixed perfumes for people, and she said she did. When I indicated that I might need some help with that, she just shrugged. I ended up buying a tiny bottle of something called “incenso,” which I find fades within about an hour after I put it on. But it might be interesting to mix it with other things.


The unassuming storefront of Perfumaria Alceste.

At the Mercado de Ribeira, an indoor market with food stalls and shops, I tested out Claus Porto perfumes, which you can get in the U.S., so I didn’t buy any. But all day, I repeatedly sniffed my hand where I’d tested out the one I liked best, to imprint it on my memories of the day. I didn’t even note the name of the cologne, so if I ever smell it again, it will hopefully be a pleasant surprise and bring a rush of memories.


Peppers? At the Botanical Garden.

When I’m visiting a large city, I like to visit gardens. Spain had some of the best-smelling gardens I have ever experienced, so I was hoping that Lisbon’s municipal botanic garden would be similar. However, it was more focused on plants and less on flowers (plus it was November, so not much was in bloom). I did get a whiff of some plant or shrub as I was walking around the paths, though, that was hauntingly familiar. I never did pin down what the scent was or what plant it was from–another mystery, perhaps to be solved on a return visit.

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Scent | Where to Spray Perfume

Just a quick check-in to share this post about where to spritz perfume. I don’t think most of these are new, but the hair is an interesting idea, as long as your scent won’t clash with the smell of your shampoo. It links to another good tip for making your perfume last longer: massage Vaseline into your pulse points first.

Another possibility: In Diane Johnson’s novel L’Affaire, one of the French characters dabs perfume between her third and fourth finger, as an American looks on and takes note of this possible Gallic beauty secret.

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Scent | Natural Perfume Formulation with Jessica Hannah


I love the idea of custom perfumes and blending bespoke scents. So this past weekend I did a workshop at the Chicago Botanic Garden taught by natural perfumer Jessica Hannah of J. Hannah Co.


Jessica Hannah

Jessica gave a short introduction to the concept of natural essences and passed around a tiny piece of ambergris, which famously was a major ingredient in perfume for many years. It is basically whale poop, but like civet, it is one of those things that can bring amazing depth and transformation to a perfume. (Amazing metaphor there for how something “dirty” or profane is an essential element of beauty — but that’s another post.) Apparently how it is created is a bit of a mystery, but it is thought to be the result of an irritant in a sperm whale’s digestive system. Rather like a pearl perhaps, although ambergris doesn’t look like much in its raw form.

That was not one of the essences we worked with–as you can imagine it’s quite expensive. Instead Jessica brought about 30 natural essences, which were divided into top, middle, and base notes. Top notes are what you smell right away. Middle notes are what show up most strongly when the top notes start to fade. And the base–well, the base is the foundation of it all. It’s like music. Each perfume is a little symphony–or a pop song.

I'm all about that base.

I’m all about that base.

We chose three scents in each category. In each category, you could add ten drops using those three scents–in whatever proportion smelled good to you. Using droppers, we slowly built each level, starting with the base notes. You add a drop or two into an alcohol base, shake it up, smell it (preferably on your skin, of course), add more.

As you can see, there are so many possible variations–which is a little intimidating when you don’t know what you’re doing. But Jessica provided great guidance.  Some top notes, she explained, are “accessories”–on their own they’re a bit much. In the middle, sometimes you need a “filler.” And then there are the concepts of “locking” and “burying,” which refer to the ways that notes can come together. Advanced stuff. I was just hoping I could come up with something that didn’t smell like a car crashed into a perfume counter.

I’ve been drawn to more smoky, woody scents lately, so I decided to try to aim for that, maybe with some floral in there to lighten it up. For the base, I chose tobacco, labdanum (distilled from the resin of a Mediterranean shrub), and choya ral, made from the burnt wood of trees in India. (Apparently there is also a choya nakh, which the distillation of smoke from burning seashells. I have got to smell some of that someday.) I decided to focus on the choya ral, in the base.

For the middle, I went with ylang ylang for that floral note, plus rose. I don’t love rose, but I was curious to see what it would do. For the third middle note, I used clary sage on my first try but switched to lavender on the second. I thought both were a little too herbal, but none of the other middle options seemed quite right.

The top notes, said Jessica, are known to be very difficult to get right, for whatever reason. Apparently perfumers can spend months trying to figure out the perfect top note combination. And we had about an hour for everything! Well, I chose black pepper, cabreuva (another distillation from exotic wood), and juniper berry.

We did one formulation, then we all evaluated them as a class and reformulated them with Jessica’s feedback. Mine smelled good but less like a symphony than someone smashing the keys of an organ. Jessica suggested pulling back on the choya in the base and the black pepper in the top.

My second formulation still smells a little too strong and incense-like to me, like a hippie version of some high-end amber oriental fragrance, but Jessica said it was a great attempt for my first try doing this tpe of thing. I’ll be curious to see how it changes as it ages, and if anyone has any comments as I wear it around.

There’s a science to this, but of course it is also an art. It’s like an endless puzzle. And I love puzzles. Just what I need–another spendy hobby.

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Stone | AP Shop


I love the concept of the seasonal boutique. When you can get almost anything at any time, making an entire store available for only a few months out of the year makes shopping special again. Especially when it’s an exceptional shop–like AP Shop in tiny Lakeside, Michigan.

apshop_front room

AP Shop is owned and run by Ariane Prewitt, who I first met when she was selling vintage clothes with another friend. Well, actually I first met her, although not by name, about 20 years ago when she and her sister had a store in the just-beginning-to-gentrify Chicago neighborhood of Wicker Park. They sold a perfectly curated collection of thrifted, antique and vintage items that were styled so beautifully, you wanted to just move in. I bought my first “major” adult home purchase there–a pair of pink glass art deco lamps. I still have them, and they still make me happy.


Many years later Ariane and her husband have a second home in Michigan, and she runs this shop when they are in town during the summers–typically May to fall. (The rest of the year she teaches visual merchandising at Columbia College and also works as a retail and design consultant.) Ariane loves textiles, and the store is full of lovingly made pieces from all over the world, some of them hand-woven. Again, it’s gorgeously styled, with a kind of minimalist haute bohemian feel. Every single thing here is carefully chosen.

For me, the big draw is the jewelry she carries. Last year I got a necklace of heavy handmade ceramic beads on a leather string by Bari Ziperstein.  It’s kind of my Rohrschach test for people’s taste. If they admire it, I know we’re on the same wavelength.

This year I got a handmade gold-painted porcelain ring by Ruby Pilven, which has a similar look.

Some of my purchases.

Some of my purchases.

If your tastes run more simple and refined, she’s got that too. Golden brass bangles. Gold hoop earrings. Turquoise rings. Something for everyone.


As you can see, I am drawn to the big and bold. So the new jewelry line by Sophie Buhai (one of the designers behind the erstwhile clothing line Vena Cava) is right up my alley.

Wooden cuffs and silver pieces by Sophie Buhai.

Wooden cuffs, wood and silver ring, and silver pieces by Sophie Buhai.

Look at those smooth, shiny surfaces. The dark brown cuff actually comes apart and is held together by magnets. Genius.

There are so many treasures here, including the beachy Coco scent from Coqui Coqui and colognes from sister company Hacienda Montecristo. A visit is a delight and well worth a day trip, or even better, a weekend. It’s only about an hour and a half from Chicago. If you can’t make it in person, check out the Instagram feed.

AP Shop, 14931 Lakeside Road, Lakeside, MI. It’s open from Friday to Monday noon to 5 PM,  Memorial Day through Labor Day, or by chance or appointment, 708-359-9204.

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